Sometimes the universe speaks to me. I am not a hippie… not
that I dislike hippies, I am just not one. I don’t try to cure chlamydia (I
spelled chlamydia right on the first try although I am not 100% comfortable admitting
this) with essential oils… I don’t try to use the power of positive thinking to
magically make all my dreams come true… But I do think the universe has a way
of speaking to me.
I had a doctor’s appointment today. During my appointment I
learned two things
1 1) The Testosterone I am taking isn’t raising my
levels enough, but my estrogen levels HAVE elevated, which can be a side effect of testosterone injections. I sometimes think god
likes fucking with me. My Testosterone levels are still low, but I’m almost
ready to start my period. My doctor gave me an estrogen blocker to help lower
my levels so I don’t “develop sexy sexy breasts” (I think that’s how he put
it.. that’s definitely the gist of what he said). Of course I will probably
take the estrogen blockers but part of me is thinking that when the
testosterone takes and helps me shrink my waistline… and my erections are running on pubescent levels… giant boobs will make my value to the internet SHOOT through
the roof. We’ll see what I decide, I need to think on this.
2) My oxygen saturation levels are low. They always
are. It’s the only thing other than my Testosterone levels that are ever off, and they are always low. I feel this is an odd issue to have.
As soon as my doctor’s appointment was over, I headed
straight for the gym. It’s rare that I have a big window to work out and I felt
I should take advantage of it. Upon arrival I ran into one of the trainers as
he was heading out and we struck up a convo. This trainer is not your typical
guy. I believe this guy would have been amazing at any profession, and decided
to apply that to fitness and health.. not someone who was in shape and decided
to make his physical condition a bankable thing. He has incredible insight and
has a way of quantifying things in way that makes the subject matter really
sink in. He was asking me about how my process was going.. just insignificant
chit chatty stuff. But within minutes, he started talking about the small
things we can all do to improve our health. He started talking about how he is
sometimes frustrated with the fact that people spend so much money on dramatic changes
and supplements and programs, without making the small changes. He listed off
the obvious stuff like “drink enough water, get rigorous activity, and LEARN TO
BREATH EFFICIENTLY”… I was instantly taken aback by this. Who the fuck ever discusses
breathing? Let alone have it come up twice in one day. He went on to discuss
how short shallow breathes limit the amount of oxygen that the body can pass to
extremities, and if you are exerting yourself, and your body needs oxygen to
pass to your muscles, it becomes a quick downward spiral when your breathing
becomes labored. We discussed breathing exercises he does, and the importance
he places on this process. He encouraged me to look up proper breathing techniques for working out, and the role that breathing plays in lifting... not only with supplying oxygen to the body, but also in creating proper technique and body positioning.
As valuable as this info was, I think this is a bigger issue than just the “breathing”…
there are two other distinct and important lessons that hit me.
1 1) False authority: There is so much misinformation
in fitness. It feels everyone is selling you something. How can you trust
anyone who gives you advice. Regardless of what program you choose, or what
help you seek, it feels as though you need to make a major financial
investment, and its hard to take someone’s “word for it” when you know they are
selling you something. This guy was giving me a gift. I have never given him a
dime.. he wasn’t giving me advice that required a financial commitment to follow.
He was just a really rad guy giving me important lessons about my own health. A
resource like this invaluable.
2 2) Being healthy: I sometimes lose track of what my
real goals are. My goal is to become healthy enough that I can live to know my
grand kids. In the process of trying to become healthy I have become fixated on the end
results. Working to lose weight has become my only goal… I am associating my worth and success with physical appearance. I have lost sight of
the small steps that will add years to my life and aid in the entire process of
losing weight. I am building a house without laying a foundation. I am spending
tons of time, effort, and money on making big changes, and neglecting the free
“easy” steps that I need to be doing. Drink water, learn to breath deeper and
more efficient, fix all of my unhealthy habits.
This topic carried over to eating as well… how to maintain positive
momentum. This is something I have also been getting emails
about from some of you. People asking “how do you avoid treats and sugary
snacks”. Answer: I don’t. I won’t. I am not looking to avoid anything. I am
looking to reset my default settings about food. Food isn’t necessarily “bad”,
my relationship with food is bad. My brain is the issue. Treats are fine.. but
they need to be just that, “treats”. I need to make eating clean be my setting
most of the time. I don’t need to throw away all unhealthy food and avoid being
in situations where sugary food is around. How does that “fix” anything. I need
to overcome the issues, and not just avoid them. I need to teach my brain that
I don’t need to eat this type of food so much. I told my trainer friend “My
kids have responsible relationships with food, why punish them by throwing the
oreos away so they never get any? My kids have shown a healthy mentality
towards food, I don’t want to put a taboo on unhealthy food, which will only
make my kids hyper aware of these foods and make the sugary treats more
enticing to them”. I believe this. Treats are ok. But they need to actually be treats,
and not something I eat daily. I am trying to overcome my mental attachment to
unhealthy foods. Not just remove temptation.
This is gave me a minor "ah ha" moment. Why
do treats need to be meaningless sugary snacks that can be stored in the cupboards? Wouldn’t I be killing two birds with one stone if I was to make the treats with
my kids? Having fun snacks as well as a positive interaction with my child. What
could possibly make eating a treat more of a positive situation than making the
entire process be rewarding and interactive. This would create the ultimate teaching experience. This goes for all eating habits. I think we can all agree that everyone over 17 is an opinionated piece
of shit… stubborn and riddled with bias… this is just good science. The actual
equation is “x>17 than x=POS”… x being age of course. But little kids are
sponges. If you tell an adult something innocuous like “you should eat veggies
during every meal” .. that adult will ignore what you are saying, wait for
their turn to talk, and then smugly express how fucking stupid you are. I feel
most adults are more interesting in looking smart, than being smart. But tell a
kid “you should eat veggies at every meal” and they will respond with “why”.
Why not take advantage of this? Have treats around. Make treats a positive
experience, but explain why treats aren’t an everyday thing. Don’t create a
taboo. Create a learning experience. Set their defaults in a positive manner,
while resetting my own defaults.
This was such a great convo to have. Helped me so much. And
the universe decided I needed to have it. I love the idea of helping set my
kids healthy habits while resetting mine. Remembering to actually take all of
the steps in laying a healthy foundation. Also, as added bonus, while writing
this I have made a decision on the estrogen blockers. I have decided to embrace
my soon to develop boobs. Embrace the IDEA of them anyway, not physically
embrace them. Well, not not embrace them, but that is a post for a different
blog.
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