I know my writing is mostly cynical and anxious and even
mean spirited at times. There is little catharsis in venting happy thoughts.
When the “struggle” feels less like a struggle, I don’t have an overwhelming
urge to jump on here and be petty. Yes, I fully understand how petty much of my
struggle is. In fact, this whole process is only arduous because of my mind
frame. The physical part of eating right and exercising isn’t nearly as hard as
we make it on ourselves.
Today was one of the good days. I don’t know why. What was
different? I honestly would like to know because then I could maybe learn to
harness it. But today I strutted into the gym like I owned the fucking place. I had to
apologize to the two beautiful woman in the lobby (Hotty McTightPants, and Blondie
McGreatBody) because the poor things don’t get to make out with me, OR have me
touch their butts. I truly pitied them for this.
I only had maybe 45 minutes to workout but I made it in,
damn it. I also have been eating amazingly. I find that logging things into
MyFitnessPal helps keep me on track. I become proud of myself for long stretches
of time as I see day after day go by without crossing over my calorie
threshold... its been a long time since I could use the term "proud of myself" while discussing fitness topics. By the way, I don’t like that the abbreviation for Calorie is “kCal”.
How fucking smug. It feels like an old white guy trying to give himself a “rapper
guy name”. Go fuck yourself kCal… how pretentious.
I knew I was having a good day, but what really clued me
into how amazing I feel today, was the fact that at one point I was assigning “parts”
in the songs I was listening to, to random members of the gym.
Posse On Broadway –
Sir Mix A lot
Sir Mix a lot: No one at Villa is cool enough for this part.
Hell, no one in the world is.
Kid Sensation: My trainer Bryan… He is truly the teenage
lady killer
The Posse from 23rd and Jackson: Joey, Chris, DJ..
because they are always lookin for some action. Plus, I like to think of them as "my posse"... I am pretty sure they feel the same.
Kevin: The super handsome dude with a maroon tank top
(Although I stared at him for 10 minutes trying to will him to scream “Its time
to get def”.. but he never did)
Larry (the white guy who people think is funny): Every other person in the room…
This happened for every song. Tribe Called Quest's "Electric Relaxation" was a bit harder. I was the only one in the room with "Black hair and Fat ass thighs"... but this made me not want to play this game anymore. By the way, every time a Busta
Rhymes song comes on, I play the part of Busta. Fuck you.. .its my game, I get
to be Busta.
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