Hangin' tough

Juxtaposition: the fact of two things being seen or placed close together with contrasting effect.

I have very real and very conflicting theories that have been taking turns inside of my head.

-          Theory 1:  I feel very strongly that I need to remove the end goal from my sight. I need to concentrate on setting habits, and just allow myself to get to a healthy weight and lifestyle with the inevitable passage of time. If I live every day in what I deem to be a healthy manner, eventually I will be healthy. If I remove the daily goals, and pressure, I remove the feeling of failing. This will allow me remove negative aspects and pressures. Most overweight people already have so many negative associations with diet, and exercise programs, and lifestyle changes, that removing negativity should help allow us more peace of mind. This is a marathon, and not a sprint. We put so much pressure on ourselves to live up to some mental image we have of success. Outside of acute medical issues, a lot of our goals and ideals are almost arbitrarily assigned to ourselves. Treating this process as a change of patterns, and removing pressures, could replace the negative associations we have around healthy living, with positive connotations. We have our whole life to live. This needs to be a forever change… this feels more sustainable if we don’t sprint to some hypothetical finish line. I feel most of us live for cheat days, and dwell in the negativity of hitting arbitrarily and unsustainable weekly weightloss goals. For me, the number… the tangible weight… the fucking number… is the worst thing. The number becomes a living breathing entity. I can feel it hovering above me like a numerical “Great Gazoo” (for those of you under 35… the Great Gazoo was an oddly out of place invisible alien that followed Fred Flinstone around insulting him). I can hear the number whispering in my ear “Have another donut, dumb dumb”… in that doofy Great Gazoo voice.

By definition, if we set goals, we have a chance at failure. These “failures” feel like they have more of a impact on the process, than the victories do. No matter how many goals we achieve, one misstep can lead to binge eating. Maybe instead of worrying about the goal, the finish line, the daily punishment of restriction… we dwell on the day we are in. We accept that “today, I just live the best I can”. I once read that the best strategy for long term weightloss, is to map out the daily habits of someone at your goal weight, and live that way. Eventually, you will hit your goal weight. What would that look like for me? I have been almost 300lbs, and as little as 160lbs, and then back up to 290lbs in my adult life. I actually know what weight I am the most comfortable at, and feel the healthiest at. 185lbs. SO I should determine the physical activity and caloric intake of a healthy 185lbs person, and live in that manner. This prevents the wild fluctuations that can come with dieting. This is also an effective way to reset your defaults. Life patterns, played out over a long and sustained period of time, become habits. Part of the reason we fluctuate with weight, a narrative I have heard from so many people, is that they fluctuate in weight because they can only sustain a “diet” for so long. It stands to reason that if habits are seen as restrictive, or punitive, they will not be sustainable. Eventually the old, familiar, instant gratification of gluttony and sloth (my two favorite deadly sins) will come back to relieve the stress and pressure of a lifestyle that feels so daunting. It makes sense that daily goals, and constant measurement of every inch of the process, will lead to us longing for the end of what is supposed to be a forever change. Dont put too much pressure on myself for and just take each moment as it comes... strive for a healthy choice, as each choice comes. 

-          Theory 2:  The other side of this is to set daily goals. Maybe I am overweight because I cant be trusted to make healthy daily lifestyle choices? Maybe if I had the self-control to act in my own dietary best interest, I wouldn’t be in this current predicament? There is an argument to be made for goal setting. I wouldn’t use the “everything will work out in the end” approach to work. I have also lived my life under the feeling that trial and error is how we discover the most about ourselves. Failure and negative thoughts can motivate us.

I wouldn’t take a laissez-faire approach to finance, or work, or education. Why would I not apply structure to reprogramming my lifestyle patterns? Set small, achievable, and quantifiable goals, until I reach where I want to be. This will keep me on the path to health. Goal setting is an incredible method for achieving anything we want. Wake up every day and write out a list of daily accomplishments. This can be a great way to monitor yourself. Self-assess. The idea is to monitor your daily activities, and set bars to overcome, until you are at your goal. A friend of mine put this in a way that was easy to quantify… “If you are drowning, you wouldn’t just slowly meander towards shore without a goal… you would force yourself to learn to swim with a sense of urgency. Understanding the gravity of how serious obesity is, is important. A small daily “failure” is a not a negative thing.. this is how we learn what works, and what doesn’t. 

I wrote this post as a brain storm. I don’t know the answer. I kind of think the answer to which method is best, is “yes”. I don’t know that the answer isn’t nebulous. My brain has a way of dwelling in hard and fast finite resolution… until it doesn’t anymore. I think for me, the key is to stay agile and transition from method to method according to my mind frame. We all have ups and downs. Today, I feel I need goal setting. I need small tangible, measurable, goals. I need to achieve, and assess what is and isn’t working, right now. Tomorrows goals

-          Eat 1800 calories in the form of… 70% healthy fats, 25% protein, 5% carbs (only vegetable based carbs)

-          Complete the following workout

o   20 minutes of treadmill work (2 minute warm up at 3.5mph… 2 minute run at 6.5mph… repeat 5 times)

o   50 ball slams

o   Deadlift (4 sets of 10 reps at 185lbs to strengthen but preserve my back)

o   Leg press (4 sets of 10 reps at 260lbs)

o   Strict press (4 sets of 10 reps 90 lbs)

o   3, 1 minute plank holds, with 20 hanging leg lifts..

o   4 sets of cable curls and tri extensions

-          Do 20 crunches, or 20 squats between each of my 8 work calls tomorrow.

-          Play at the pool with the boys in the afternoon

-          Learn how to do the dance from the “Single Ladies” or “Hanging tough” videos

-          Weigh myself in the morning, and then set an achievable weekly % weightloss goal to check next friday

These are all easily measured, and absolutely quantifiable. Pass, or no pass… no “A” for effort, no fucking gold stars. I accomplish these goals, or I grade the day as an ‘F”, and regroup for tomorrow.